


hyacinth

by Aquariusisanairsign



Category: None - Fandom
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-26
Updated: 2020-03-26
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:00:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23834278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aquariusisanairsign/pseuds/Aquariusisanairsign
Summary: Born into a world of endless responsibilities, two women have to find comfort in either the system or themselves.





	hyacinth

My mother's words were ringing in my ears as loud and as obnoxious as a rooster call. Waking me up to unwanted obligations. I didn't want to admit that she was right, I didn't even want to believe what she said but what choice did I have. I wanted to be free I wanted so badly to leave and go on as a shadow, invisible.

Tonight, I will be the most invisible I'll ever get to be. Running away from the Apollo palace on foot, stray pieces of wood, rocks, and thorns getting lodged in the underside of my feet. No one really knowing where I might be. Away from sight. It feels so refreshing to have no one know where I am.

I had just hopped the tall stone fence that surrounded the yard where our horses play. I had a dirty horribly painful gash on the underside of my upper arm. I could see very well my eyes were welling up in tears and it seemed no matter how many times I wiped my eyes or tried to convince myself to calm down I would still be crying. I wanted to stop I wanted so badly to stop. I let so embarrassed to be that hurt. It isn't that big of a deal. It isn't that big of a deal! 

At least that's what mother always tells me. I have a responsibility and from the moment I successfully reached the age of sixteen I was living for a country I barely knew. The eldest child of a royal family will always die by the age of sixteen. After my sixteenth birthday, I couldn't sing I couldn't dance I couldn't cook, I couldn't ride a horse, feed a cow, paint, read, write, swim, run. I couldn't do anything for myself. By the age of sixteen, I was expected to become a husk of a person. I breathed for the people of my country, every drop of blood in my body was to be shed for the welfare of the children. Any mistake I made would mean death for thousands, People I'll never speak to will talk about me and make opinions on me. Seventy-five thousand people expect the best from me, seventy-five thousand people depended on me. Taking care of so many people there is no room to worry about yourself or the people you love. So at the dawn of my twentieth birthday, I'll be thrown into a loveless marriage and make decisions on behalf of seventy-five thousand people that I've trained my whole life for.

Thinking about it now, I couldn't find a calming breath. I could hear my heart beating wildly out of control in my ears. I couldn't swallow for there was a giant knot in my throat. I fell to the ground, I think i tripped on something but I was too dark to tell and I was too tired to pay attention to my limbs. I couldn't help it I started sobbing. With the moonlight shining brightly through the trees and into my eyes, staring at my arms shaking while holding me up, I broke. I sobbed hard, harder than the night my father died, harder than when I realized all my friends didn't genuinely care about me, I cried harder than I had ever cried in my life.

I was terrified, not of the forest ironically I felt the smallest bit of comfort here where I could scream and cry and nothing would judge me for it. No concerned looks, no glares just some silence like the forest was listening. No, I wasn't scared of that. What had brought me to my knees in terror is the overwhelming pressure to be perfect, to be a genius to create a prosperous nation that would be known throughout the world. 

I felt like a child crying manically into the undergrowth. I wanted to be picked up into a hug where I'll be swept into comfort. I just want to escape, please I need to be free.

I grabbed the weeds harshly in a fist, tears running down my face, mucus falling out of my nose. I felt so emotional and vulnerable, I yelled into the soil my voice cracking.

what am I doing, I need to relax, I can't do anything like this. I came here to run away not to break down. 

It took some effort to calm down and stop sobbing, I took shaky breaths to keep myself from panicking again. Slowly I started sitting up. resting my weight on the back of my shins, I tried to relax by taking deep breaths. In and out, in and out. Try not to think about what's bothering you Nora relax it'll be okay.

It's okay, it's okay. 

I slide out my right foot and start getting up on my knees. it's alright.

it's alright that if someone finds you they'll recognize you and. stop it! don't think about that Nora. get through, this push through.

I placed one foot on the ground and put my hand on that thigh to hoist myself up. I was standing, great progress. now move.

I stumbled forward. I can do this.  
I kept walking forward, everything hurt.

Distantly I could hear the sound of laughter and music. I looked around and spotted a few lights. a tavern! 

My blood ran cold, no.

A lifetime of shame, Eleanora, if someone finds you here dirty hairy, hands and face full of a weird mixture of sweat, blood, tears, and dirt. You'll be deemed troublesome, a nuisance. Your worst fear will come true, Eleanora, You'll have generations of civilians criticize you long after you're dead. your time as queen will be deemed a waste, a failure, children will make songs making fun of you that they'll sing while playing games and when someone asks who it's about they won't know. Your legacy will be your short-comings you'll-

Tears stung my eyes as I held onto a tree for support. I cupped my mouth with my hand to keep myself from making noise. Little pathetic whimpers were the only things to escape my throat.

No, I can make it through this.

I finally fully calmed down after a while and decided to make a sprint for it and get to the next country. 

Yeah, I'll run.

On the count of three, I'll make a run for it. 

okay, one.

two,

thre-

"Hello?"

What the hell was that!

The feminine voice came again this time closer, "Is someone there." I had just now I recognized the sound of leaves crunching under someone's foot. I looked harder and saw the silhouette of a figure maybe thirty feet away coming from.


End file.
